My third encounter was something I never would have expected. It also was the most frightening. There is something to be said about the phrase; seeing is believing, but when it is not something you can see, well….
A few months after telling my father I was pregnant, he passed away. It was not something that no one was expecting. Why he managed to live as long as he did was beyond everyone. He had been very ill all my growing years. When I was five years of age he had open heart surgery. The doctors had to remove his dieased pericardium. I remember one of my relatives telling us how we had to be very good and say our prayers every night, because he may not live through the surgery. It was a terrible blow to a kid, having to suffer the fear of losing a parent, never mind being told at such a tender age.
So my father managed to live thirteen years after surgery. But during those years he would go back and forth to the hospital on a regular basis. Each time he went, brought more anxiety. How I never ended up on prozac or some type of anti anxiety medication, I will never know. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be on any, it just means I manage it, without the drugs. (more…)